Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Learning How to Love Facebook (and the crazy people on my friends list)

I love Facebook.  It has renewed friendships, created new ones and given me a way to connect from my lonely, somewhat disconnected place on the globe.  It has also big one big pain in the booty.  People claiming to love Jesus plaster post after post spreading hate for people that are different than they are.  People claiming to be Christians show just how unChristlike they are by wishing sinners DEAD instead of connected with God.  Heathens sitting back and reading these posts and thinking that there is no God if these are His representatives.

*sigh*

The truth is this.  People are dumb.

Facebook has given them an audience to say whatever clever, hateful phrase they've heard from someone they "admire" and claim it to be God's truth.  I hate Facebook.

I don't often post blatantly political things but when I do I mean it as a passive-aggressive punch in the face for a few folks.  Okay...that's not true.  Sometimes I just like poking the hornet's nest to see what happens. :-)

Anyway...I've decided to put my own little rants right here and not deal with the crazy people that will argue with each other in the comments of my status update. :-) You're welcome.

1. That Crazy Abortion Doctor
It is HORRIFIC.  Why isn't there more attention on this?  Probably because the real life gruesomeness of it won't sell papers or commercials.  As one that believes that life begins at foreplay, I hope that this man is prosecuted to the full extent of the law.  And then some.

2.  Gay Marriage
Someone else's marriage does not negate mine.  This is a religious decision.  It should not be political.  It should not be something the government has any say in.  My life. My bed. My choice.  Shut up.

Unfortunately this topic is one that my conservative Christian friends love to hate.  *sigh*  I wonder which of these situations is truly defiling the sanctity of marriage: (a) a woman that has 3 kids with 3 different last names and is shacking up with a guy but still sleeping with daddy #1 on occasion and refusing to marry because it would prevent her from getting a check every month or (b) two men who have been together for twenty years, raised children and built a home together. 

Hmmmm.

3.  Military support.
Why is this an issue? They are our military.  We support them.  Why are people trying to shame me about not supporting them enough?  Aren't there bigger things going on in the world?

4.  Reese Witherspoon Got Arrested
I don't even care enough to read the rest of the sentence at the bottom of the picture.  Do.not.care.

5.  Depressed Compulsive Scripture Poster
 Do you have friends that do this?  They obviously are going through something in their life.  Their husband is cheating on them, they have cancer, their kid just got arrested...something.  Instead of coming out and saying "My husband is a worthless cheat! I want to stab him in the eye with a sword filled with angry bees!"  they post random scriptures about overcoming great trials.  Constantly.  All day long.  And often all through the night. Constantly.

Now don't get me wrong.  I love the Lord and want to hear what His scriptures say, but....*sigh* maybe leave the lamentations for once a day or so.

6. I voted for Obama.  TWICE.  I don't think what's happening is worse that what would happen if a Republican would be in office.  Actually, I support many of his choices.  So there.  I said it.  The tons of I hate Obama crap that is posted doesn't make me change my mind about Obama.  It makes me change my mind about the person who posted it.

So there...now you have it.  I really do love Facebook.  Well...except when I hate it. :-)

Monday, April 08, 2013

Lessons from Conducting in my Pajamas

Yep.  That's right.  In my pajamas.

I'm a music teacher for those of you that are new to the blog or have simply forgotten because I so rarely blog anymore!  I teach K-6 music in a rural school district.  It has been a busy couple of weeks!  So glad that March is over and things can return to what I pretend is normal.

After being rescheduled due to the threat of snow (of which never came!), the concert took place the Thursday evening before our spring break.  So in addition to normal concert chaos came the inevitable scramble at the last minute to replace kids that didn't show up due to the rescheduling at such a crappy time.

The concert theme was an unusual one for me.  It took a bit of brain power and the resources of an awesome discussion list to put it together.  The theme?  Music of the Night.  It featured songs about bedtime and bedtime routines.  "Splish Splash", "Brush Your Teeth", "Lullaby", etc...  Kids dressed in their pajamas, danced with giant toothbrushes, rocked out while rockin' and rollin' with towels, dressed as monsters under the bed and...well you get the idea.  It looked great.  It sounded adequate.  The kids were SO proud of themselves.  That's what counts. :-)

Me?  Well I had spent a month looking for appropriate pajamas.  I really wanted something fru-fru with feathers and fluff and fun little fluffy house slippers.  That didn't work out.  It seems that there are 3 kinds of pajamas for women:
1. I'm a slut and I shall dress for bed in such a way that demonstrates this to the man in the moon.
     Now, normally I would totally be down for this, but 1st and 2nd graders?  I just don't know about that!
2.  I am a grown woman pretending I am a child and wearing Dora the Explorer PJs.  *ugh*  I mean...if I have to wear character pajamas why couldn't I find WONDER WOMAN?  So...I didn't go that route either.
3.  I'm old and tired and don't give a crap that flannel is not cool.  *sigh*  I'm not THAT old and I DO give a crap and flannel makes me SWEATY.  So...that didn't work for me.

So, I ended up compromising...no, wait...it wasn't a compromise, it was just just desperation.  Anyway...I ended up getting grumpy old man pajamas.  They were not slutty (unless you don't wear the pants), they did not have Dora on them (the were blue plaid) and they were light weight so I didn't sweat like a big ole dancing hog.  I even ripped off the buttons and with my limited sewing skills put on girly looking buttons.  I was feeling pretty good about my choice until I saw the concert pictures.

Apparently I didn't think about the shape that grumpy old man pajamas would do to my not quite old man body.  I conducted the concert as a big grumpy old hippo.  LOL.  They were comfortable but WAY unflattering.

It's a good thing I have such a great sense of humor.

And no, I'm not posting a picture here! :-)

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Lessons in How to Spend a Lazy Weekend

Ah! Finally a three day weekend!  February seems to be such a dark, tired month.  I've been fighting down a cold, the baby's given up on sleep, the boy is flunking almost everything, the husband always seem near death.  Its been tough. This weekend, however, was better!  I brought NO work home which I think helped.  Here's what else I did:

1.  Had hot crazy sex with my hubby.
2.  Watched a romantic comedy including zombies.
3.  Baked zucchini bread.
4.  Ate a great deal of zucchini bread.
5.  Had quiet, sneaky sex with my hubby.
6.  Planned for our financial future (and the future is bleak! bleh!)
7.  Tried a recipe from Weelicious with asparagus and sundried tomatoes.  I know, right?  It sounds gross, but it was quite delicious.
8.  Ate at Red Lobster and got free shrimp alfredo.
9.  Had warm cuddly near sex with my hubby.
10. Played with the kids.  Sophie's new word is "uh-oh!" and man does she know when to use it!
11.  Caught up on my DVR'd shows: Project Runway, The Following, Top Chef, Grey's Anatomy, The New Girl, Chopped and Modern Family.
12.  Went to Dollar General more times than Walmart.  So weird because I'm at Walmart like every day.  Some days TWICE.
13.  Slept later than 5:30.  Well...mostly. :-)

How do you spend your lazy weekends?

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Lessons from New Surroundings

I'm at the annual Missouri Music Educators Conference at the Lake.  Its nice to have a new change of scenery and it is always awesome to mingle with like-minded folks.  That being said, I've seen some odd things including:
1.  A giant pickup with the license plate "LQQKIE".
2.  The largest women I have ever seen walking.
3.  A football the size of a lemon.
4.  An almost bald woman that obviously dyed her hair for this event because her scalp was colored too.
5.  Dance Moms.  I can't find the remote OR the button to change the channel on the TV.
6.  A sign that said "Eat Here or We'll Both Starve"

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The New Year, The Old Me

Well, the new year is here and after a few weeks of it I find myself slipping into old habits.  Although I've rejoined Weight Watchers (and am down a couple of pounds) I'm not making good food choices.  As a diabetic there are only so much my medicine can do.  I MUST make good food choices and move more.  *sigh*  I'm just not where I want to be.

My spiritual walk is also weaving and wavering eventhough I've led two young ladies to the Lord this month.  I really had very little to do with it.  I just happened to be the trusted adult they wanted to talk to. :-)

I don't know.  Really?  My life is frickin' FABULOUS.  Seriously.  Two great kids, a husband I adore, a job I love, a supportive church family, a comfortable home.  So why do I sound so...well...whiny?

I find myself slipping into the old way of thinking.  You know.  Doubting.  Wondering.  Playing out horrible fictitious tragedies in my mind.  Why do people do that?  I think that perhaps thinking is much like learning a language.  Once you've learned to communicate with one type of language it takes practice (and patience!) to fluently use another one.  Once you've learned to think about things a certain way its hard to think about them in any other way. 

*shrugging*

Thinking about thinking can be pretty exhausting.

Friday, July 06, 2012

Lessons in Working Away the Summer

Today I was stressed.

*sigh*

It's summer vacation and I'm stressed.

It feels like I've been working all summer.  I only taught 6 days of summer school and only four of them felt like work.  There are just so many other things that require my attention:VBS, this state presentation make and take thing I'm working on, my side business, keeping the house and giving my awesome family some attention.

VBS is a LOT of work.  If you've done it, you know.  As the director I had lots of prep stuff to do.  Like a week's worth of stuff.  It went fine, but it was like work.

This presentation is going to be nice.  Probably.  If I don't die before getting all the stuff together.  Its just taking SoOoOoOoOoOo long!  Today I decided in a brilliant moment of creativity that instead of just putting the packet stuff in baggies that I would put all the supplies in those cute little brown paper lunch bags.  Buuuuuuuut not just lunch bags.  Lunch bags that were transformed into cute little backpacks!

Don't get me wrong.  They are so cute I want to hug myself, but they are taking a long time. 200 of them.  What was I thinking?

The side business is great and gives us a little extra money near the beginning of the school year to help with school clothes and supplies and that big push to get back in the swing of things but I have had NO time to update it.  No new product means fewer sales.  *sigh*  I kind of feel the need to make more money being that I'm the primary financial contributor.

So....every day it feels like I have more and more work to do...and that's not even listing the laundry, dishes, etc...  I told my husband that I felt like I had working Mom guilt and it was summer!  I want to laze around and nap with the baby and play with the boy.  *sigh*

So, I'm praying about priorities and figuring out how to get everything done and still enjoy some summery time things.

Oh...and haters that are rolling their eyes because I have the summer off...I've been doing this since I was 5.  Summers off is my schedule.  And don't hate.  You wouldn't want to do what I do during the school year!  It's awesome, but it is not for everyone!

Okay...rant over.

Tomorrow I am (mostly) taking the day off.  I am gonna see that naughty Magic Mike movie at 9 in the morning.  Its not sexy if its before noon, right?  And tomorrow night I am a guest judge at a small town singing contest!  HOW FUN is that? :-)

Thursday, July 05, 2012

No Lessons-Just a pic of my amazing kids!

Isn't he the most handsome young man you've ever seen?  The middle school hussies that run their fingers through his hair think he looks like Bruno Mars.  And look at that little princess!  She looks a little drunk in this one, but...man...she DOES look a little drunk in this one.  Let me find a better one...

There we go!  There's that smile! :-)


Comeback Lessons

I'm baaaaaack!

Wow...so long since I've really blogged.  I'm totally going to blame it on the baby.  Totally.  It is amazing how much time she and her brother consume each day and how much space they fill in my heart!  *deep content sigh*

Okay.  Hallmark moment over.  Let me catch you up.

The boy: He's going to be 13 in a few weeks. THIRTEEN!  Its flown by.  He has traces of facial hair, stinks like a grown up, texts girls...holy cow!  He's adjusted to our move last year well socially, but his grades are in the gutter. *sigh* He seems happy though!  So, we'll work on the other stuff later! :-)

The baby: She's amazing.  Such a pleasant baby!  Smiley and giggly and everything.  Oh...and did I mention how beautiful she is?  If you mix my husband and I's genetics you should get a really tall, hairy troll...she is SO not that! :-)  She'll be ten months old in a few days.

The husband: Still kicking.  He's enjoying my summer break so that he finally has a little bit of baby free time.  The kids are always near us so we have become crazy creative with our uhm...adult time.  What that translates to is that we sneak around like teenagers! WoOoOoOot!  Car hood sex is still hot by the way.


The job:  Aw...who cares!  Its summer right? :-)  Actually I've still got school stuff going on.  I'm going to present a make and take session at the Missouri State Teacher's Association Leadership Symposium.  In like ten days.  *sigh*  HOLY CRAP I've got a lot of things to do!  Fortunately, the hubster is gonna help me put the packets together and that's probably the most labor intensive part of the prep.


The church: Had a great VBS.  Although our numbers are low, everyone is involved.  Seriously.  They are taking care of each other, connecting, getting involved in local projects.  Good stuff.


My boobs:  Did you know that after you breastfeed for a while, your awesome voluptuous boobs start to uhm...er...deflate?  That makes me so sad.  I mean, they still work and all and I just read an article about their HIV curing powers so "yay me!" but they don't look as perky or proud as they did about six months ago!  LOL!


Me: I've turned forty.  It was the worst birthday day in a very long time. :-(  And as for one who likes to celebrate her birthday for a good ten days or so...it was a major let down.  *sigh*  Lesson learned.  I did, however, get to spend a goodly portion of the day with a very dear friend.  That was awesome!

In other news, I think the baby said "damn" today.  *sigh*

Saturday, April 07, 2012

Lessons in Waiting

I know. It's been forever. I haven't given up on blogging, just needed a break. :-)

Monday, January 23, 2012

Lessons from "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow"

Its true. I'm a dreamer. I have an idea of what life should be and perceive that as "THE" life. I have often be criticized for this little personality trait. Mostly that came from people without a vision for their life or future. From people who just see life as "what it is". I tried to be that way, but it always seems I'm dreaming of a little more.

Well, it has occurred to me that perhaps I'm there. :-)

I am content. I am happy. Sure, I have goals that I'd like to reach as far as finances, career, weight loss, etc... but I am happy working toward those goals. Content.

What has made me think this way? Just a good day.

Today:
-was early to work after making several stops
-one stop included an awesome sweet tea
-classes were stellar, just great
-connected with a few people at work, really NICE people, genuine
-made some connection at a workshop that may lead me to getting to play with an iPad or two this spring. That makes my techie heart pump faster.
-got to see my brothers tonight and they got to see the baby. It was fun to chat with them
-hubby and I had a few alone minutes that we both needed
-Joey is happy
-Sophia is beautiful
-God has met our needs for the week
-I have deer sausage in the fridge.

:-) See? All good.

Don't stop thinkin' about tomorrow.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

Lessons in New Year's Eve and TMI

Yeah. So I share a little bit too much. Sometimes. I mean...really...I'm just an open person. No, wait. That's not really true. But I do tend to overshare. Last night (NYE) was a perfect example! I made some resolutions for the new year. On our way to a get-together with college friends I read them to the husband. Here they are:

Resolution #1: I will be the change I want to see in my home, my church, my relationships and in the world.

Resolution #2: I will pray more and cuss less.

Resolution #3: I will stop referring to my breasts as though they were voting entities in the republic of Tracy.

Resolution #4: I will take more pictures. Taking pictures makes me happy. And who knows, when some of you people are famous they may be worth something.

Resolution #5: I will guilt my family into more get-togethers. Family time is fun!

Resolution #6: I will have a real face to face meal with one of the Facebook friends I only know online.

Resolution #7: I will stop lying about LOLing. Cause really, does anyone actually LOL as much as they type LOL?

Resolution #8: I will stop laughing at my own jokes.

As soon as I stop cracking myself up!

Resolution #9: I will use my safe word.

Resolution #10: I will stop referring to my mother as “the crazy grandma”.

Resolution #11: I will pursue opportunities to serve others and drag my son along in the spirit of character education.

Resolution #12: I will unpack. Completely.

Resolution #13: I will use more of my leisure time to make music. No, not that kind. Gross.

Resolution #14: I will stop referring my former co-workers to the Hookers for Jesus website for intervention. It’s still funny, but I think they just may be enjoying it.

Resolution #15: I will rhyme more. I will rhyme galore! Rhyming makes me happy and makes my phone calls snappy! I will rhyme more.

Resolution #16: I will occasionally turn off auto-correct just to test my awesome spelling skills.

Resolution #17: I will stop referring to the children as zombie snacks.

Resolution #18: I will stop reading status updates and adding the words "in bed" to them. It consumes too much of my day and makes my fortune cookies seem less special.

Resolution #19: I will spend more time with my favorite college friend. *wink wink*

Resolution #20: I will not brag about my amazing sex life lest it disappear.

Resolution #21: I will wear pants that fit.

Resolution #22: I will use the word “aight” more in everyday conversation. I’m sure my coolness rating will like double or something. I think I’ll also work on bringing “daddy-o” back into mainstream slang. “Aight daddy-o?” ßSee? That’s phat!

Resolution #23: I will mop. No, seriously.

Resolution #24: I will continue to clear out the people clutter in my life by embracing the good and dismissing the false. I have little time for traitors, liars and people that just suck the awesomeness out of my typically awesome days.

Resolution #25: I will stop making new year’s resolutions. Nobody remembers them anyway.

Classic, right? Husband is like "Uhm...did you post them for everyone to read?" Me: "Only everyone on Facebook." Husband: *deep sigh*

It is obvious that he doesn't approve. I've never said that I was any good at this whole preacher's wife thing...especially the whole "modest" part. I tend to be a bit more honest. I'm a real person. I do real people things. I love Jesus and YES-he loves me! That's just how I choose to live my life. And perhaps I talk about my boobs too much. Anyway...I was disappointed that he didn't find them amusing. That was mostly the point.

What made him forget this beautiful piece of literary wonder? Later at the New Year's Eve party there was this little story about a near electrocution, a dildo and one crazy girls night. :-) Its much more innocent than it sounds, but I'm just gonna leave you with that.

Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Lessons from My Boobies


Its all about the boobies around here. My sweet little girl is growing and changing everyday and I'm learning more and more about being the breast mommy ever. It seems that there's an entire CULTURE of breastfeeding moms. Its not just about feeding the baby its about the RIGHT to feed the baby anyway you want and the POWER of the breastfeeding mama to whip it out whenever she wants and...*sigh* Its really quite exhausting.

Yesterday there was some kind of "feed-in" going on at Targets around the states because some poor woman was harrassed at a Target in Texas. So, breastfeeding mamas went to Target, whipped out their boobs and fed their kids. Uhm. Okay. And that proves what? I don't get why some breastfeeding moms want to FORCE their choice or what they believe the awesomeness of their choice is on everyone.

I'm not saying don't feed your kid in public. Not at all. If your kid is hungry, by all means feed it. However you feed. Its natural. Its what cute little kittles and baby sheep do. Its fine. Bottle OR breast. My problem comes from the breastfeeding Nazi's that don't care to be discreet (almost like they are going for shock value) and then want to lecture bottle feeding moms as though they are practically killing their babies. Are you kidding me?

Breastfeeding is going fine for us right now. Some times it feels like she is ALWAYS on the boob, but we are making it. It wasn't always this way. Until about 2 and a half months it was full of trials and tribulations. I threatened to quit lots. I would probably still be pumping for her, but that actual ART of breastfeeding was difficult. She got off to a slow start being in NICU and so we struggled to make the connection. Would I be Satan incarnate if I had given up and chosen the slightly less-stressed way to nourish my baby? In some circles-YES! Crazy women!

So around here I whip out the boob as needed. Joey and Jason are immune. I do try to protect other family members when I am at their homes by nursing in the bedroom or something. This is so they don't feel uncomfortable. I'm fine. I am not going to force them to enjoy the magic of motherhood. Its how she eats. That's all. It shouldn't be political or something that women do to intentionally shock or offend others.

I am now stepping off my soapbox.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Lessons in October Thankfulness

Things I'm Thankful for Today

1. My beautiful family
2. A chilly nip in the air
3. Resolution
4. Cheese
5. melty cheese in steaming bowls of chili
6. music
7. Hello Dollies
8. nursing bras
9. a Cardinals' win last night
10. Joey commentating his video game
11. hot groping in the kitchen when the kids aren't looking
12. snuggling during naptime with Sophie
13. crazy cats that do laps around the house
14. promises kept
15. babysitting grandmas
16. sunshine
17. diet orange soda
18. soap that smells like hugs
19. backup hard drives
20. blogging

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Sleep Deprived Lessons

It's true. I'm not getting lots of sleep. My little princess needs to eat and Mommy provides that. Fortunately, my hubby is great and gets up when I need him. :-)

Last night I was reflecting. Again. I am every so thankful for the life purge that took place earlier this year. Although I still struggle with moments of anger and disappointment about some evil traitors in my life, Jason and I both agree that our life is BETTER without that in it. :-)
Last night I also noted a LOT of drunk Facebooking. *giggle* Its always the same people and its always around the same times. I wonder if they ever go back and look at some of them. I would hope they would delete them *giggle* but no!

Its quiet in the middle of the night. Peaceful. Soothing. I usually miss this part of my day. Now, don't get me wrong. I would probably rather be sleeping. But this calm, quiet time with my precious daughter in my arms is pretty great too.

The cats are INSANE in the middle of the night. Running, frolicking, leaping, knocking things off the table to play with. *giggle*

Its nice to check on Joey in the middle of the night. He looks so sweet. His cat is almost always curled up with him. Often she crawls up UNDER his covers and peeks her head out. Too cute!

Okay...I know this was just weird rambling, but hey...it happens sometimes. Come back next week for funny stuff about newborns, Halloween and my boobs. :-) You're welcome.

Monday, October 03, 2011

Lessons from a Facebook Pregnancy

So, I posted often during my pregnancy on Facebook. I tried to keep track of them but *sigh* math makes my head hurt! :-) Enjoy the journey through my pregnancy via my status updates.

Was told twice that it was impossible and after 16 years almost believed it. NEVER doubt what is possible with God. Never underestimate his timing or that he has a perfect plan for you. WE ARE PREGNANT!!! March 16 at 6:19pm

Pregnancy Post #2: Today we get to try the strength of the raging hormones pulsing through my body against the idiocy of an all day PD day 2 hours away. Wagers anyone? March 17 at 6:14am

Pregnancy Post #3: My boobs are AWESOME. :-D March 29 at 9:14pm

Pregnancy Post #4: Everything seems to be getting bigger except my bladder. April 6 at 9:32am

Pregnancy Post: The cat is almost dead, traumatized the boy this morning during an intimate moment with the husband, used hairspray as deodorant and am eating egg rolls for breakfast. Even I don't know what to say... April 7 at 6:35am

Pregnancy Post: It's a girl! :-) April 11 at 1:44pm

Inappropriate Pregnancy Post #5: My appetite for everything has increased. *wink wink* Who would have thought that was even possible? :-D April 12 at 6:06pm

Inappropriate Pregnancy Post #6: Like a cranky old man or a ruthless teenaged boy, my flatulence knows no limits. April 17 at 8:07am

Pregnancy Post #7: Today I FEEL pregnant. And not in the nausea-laden, boob throbbing, I can't ever sleep enough kind of way. :-D Okay... I AM pretty tired, but all that other stuff. April 19 at 6:50pm

Pregnancy Post #8: Today I bought my first baby thing-a Wonder Woman onesie. :-D April 22 at 7:00pm

Pregnancy Post #9: This week 3 people have commented that I'm "showing". Sorry folks, I'm a big girl. I'm not showing. Probably not for a month or more. But thanks? I think. April 23 at 12:45pm

Inappropriate Pregnancy Post #10: I had THE strangest dream about my high school principal last night. I have no idea why I pulled up his image from that many years ago. Pass the brain bleach. I'm afraid to fall asleep tonight... April 26 at 7:44pm

Pregnancy Post #11: It doesn't really matter why I take off work anymore. Everyone just assumes it has something to do with the baby. Anyone want to join me for a long weekend? Compliments of the fetus. :-D April 27 at 12:15pm

Inappropriate Pregnancy Post #12: I have peed 8 times today. May 6 at 3:19pm

Pregnancy Post #13: I'm half way pregnant this week!!! ...err...well...half way there. You know what I mean. *giggle* May 10 at 7:02am

Pregnancy Post 14: ßis taking her boys to the ultrasound appointment today! :-D Hurray! :-D May 17 at 7:42pm

Pregnancy Post 15: Jason claims to have sympathy gas. May 19 at 6:00pm

Pregnancy Post #16: I tried on a pair of maternity shorts today. I refused to buy them because they were SOOOOOO comfortable that I'm sure I would never wear another kind of pants for the rest of my life. :-( May 19 at 6:01pm

Pregnancy Post #16: I will never get tired of this feeling. :-D May 22 at 6:42pm

Inappropriate Pregnancy Post #17: Uhm...these used to be a different color! YIKES! May 25 at 1:21pm

Pregnancy Post #18: Can one pump and drive? May 25 at 9:01pm

Pregnancy Post #19: I.did.not.cry. :-D Graduation came and went and I didn't cry. May 26 at 9:11pm

Pregnancy Post #20: I'm pretty sure she's going to be a martial artist of sorts. :-D I'm secretly hoping for "ninja". June 1 at 7:09pm

Pregnancy Post #21: Keep waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat. blech. Dr. Internet says its "hormone surges". Dr. Tracy says "it sucks". June 5 at 8:28am

Pregnancy Post #22: Pregnasaurus. That's my charming name of endearment? I wonder how "Alimonius Rex" works for him. And shut up. I'm not crabby. June 6 at 10:04pm

Slightly Inappropriate Pregnancy Post #23: A kick so hard my belly shook. Not like a bowl full of jelly. Kind of like a garbage bag full of cellulite. June 6 at 10:08pm

Pregnancy Post #24: My mommy bought me maternity shorts. I told her that I was nervous about wearing them because they are so comfy I may never stop wearing then. Her reply? "Its okay. I wore the white pair last week. They ARE super comfy." *giggle* God help me. June 7 at 8:00pm

Pregnancy Post #25: Hurray! Ultrasound day! *keeping our fingers crossed that we get one of the cool 3-D rooms today* June 8 at 6:57am

Pregnancy Post #26: She is perfect! :-) June 8 at 2:58pm

Inappropriate Pregnancy Post #27: Earlier this week at the ultrasound they used a gallon of goop and the strength of 10 grinches plus 2 during the ultrasound. The result? An OLD scar from a surgery seems to be...uhm...leaking. I sure hope the baby doesn't regard this as some kind of sun roof. :-P June 10 at 7:29 pm

Inappropriate Pregnancy Post #28: Concerned that my nips may be the largest in the world, I did a little research today. Not even close. According to the ever reliable website *not going to type it because its soft core porn* the largest ones are 4 cm long (that's an inch and a half for you Americans that never learned metric). I'm am both intrigued and disturbed. And now you are too. June 11 5:52 pm

Pregnancy Post #29: Have I mentioned how deliriously happy this little uterus ninja makes me? I've just spent half an hour looking at baby girly accessories. :-D June 12 6:46pm

Pregnancy Post #30: I'm the crazy woman that refers to herself in the plural. :-D Note to Self: Do this less in public. June 13 at 11:00am

Pregnancy Post #31: This morning while snuggling in bed half-asleep, Jason's hand is on my belly.

Jason: Whoa! Was that you?
Me: Uhm, no. *giggling* That was her.
Jason: That was amazing!
Me: Yes. Amazing. :-) June 16 at 10:10am

Pregnancy Post #32: I can seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee her moving!:-D Now, it looks kinda like a rabid squirrel is awkwardly breakdancing in the depths of my belly fat, but it is AMAZING! :-D June 17 at 6:53pm

Pregnancy Post #33: Today I feel fat. And hungry. And I need bigger underwear. June 20 at 11:46am

Pregnancy Post #34: I am now referring to her as my Uterine Overlord. For example “My Uterine Overlord has declared it is snack time.” Or “My Uterine Overlord is tired of listening to your nonsense. You may now leave our presence or shield yourself from an eminent boot to the head.” June 22 at 8:25pm.

Pregnancy Post #35: You know what’s great about being awake at 4:00am? Yeah, me either. June 24 at 4:28 pm.

Pregnancy Post #36: Heading into the 3rd trimester with day 6 of feeling like crap in the morning. Sometime around mid-afternoon food is good and I’m not nauseous. Is this pregnancy blah or am I fighting off the plague? June 26 at 8:17am.

Pregnancy Post #37: Been reading up on labor and delivery because obviously I’m a complete masochist. 10 hours of labor? 22? 36? Holy crap. I don’t even want to do something that feels GOOD for that amount of time! June 27 at 10:35pm.

Pregnancy Post #38: I am a big fat whale with big fat fingers and big fat toes. I ate an entire pack of sweet rolls yesterday. Don’t roll your eyes. It was the family pack size. THE FAMILY PACK. It makes me sad because I really want some now and they are all gone. July 3 at 5:29pm.

Pregnancy Post #39: Baby Dr. Day tomorrow! Had a dream that I told him that I felt like a big fat whale and he nodded and said that I looked like one. LOL. Here’s hopin’ that doesn’t happen. My guess is that Jason would fall out of his chair laughing if it did! :-D July 5 9:04pm.

Pregnancy Post #40: My sweet baby is 3 pounds 3 ounces and gave us a big thumbs up during the ultrasound. :-) July 6 at 2:26 pm

Pregnancy Post #41: Today I got a breastfeeding book in the mail. It may be a bad sign for the baby and my breasts that I giggled out loud 4 or 5 times in the first 10 pages. July 9 at 9:01pm

Pregnancy Post #42: The spawn of Jason growing inside of me has me taking enough insulin to kill a horse. Well…probably not a diabetic horse. July 12 at 10:33pm

Pregnancy Post #43: Wow! Pregnant Tracy is quite the multi-tasker! Today I can sneeze and pee at the same time!!! :-D July 14 at 12:02pm.

Pregnancy Post #44: There are moments, just occasionally, when a blinding white-hot panic seizes me as I ponder the reality of my amazing life. July 16 at 7:38pm

Pregnancy Post #45: “and uh 1 and uh 2 and uh 3 uuuuuuuugh!” ßMe rolling over in bed. And getting off the couch. And deciding how many sandwiches I’ll eat. July 17 at 9:44pm

Pregnancy Post #46: I’ve ordered the crib set. :-D July 19 at 7:44pm.

Pregnancy Post #47: Doctors say funny things. Funny things like "Let's deliver the baby around 37 weeks." Silly guy. Doesn't he realize HOW SOON THAT IS? July 20 at 10:03pm

Pregnancy Post #48: Fact #1: I'm a walking talking incubator. Fact #2: Doctor says I'm being attacked by hormones at night. That's why I'm so hot that I can't sleep regardless of the frost on the windows. Fact #3: Heat index hit 108 today. Fact #4: I'm sleeping in the refrigerator tonight. July 21 at 10:13pm

Pregnancy Post #49: I've had lots of swelling in my hands and feet lately and wake up every morning with intense pain in my left wrist. I didn't connect the wrist pain to anything other than my crappy new bed. Dr. Internet says this is "normal" for pregnant women. Normal? July 24 at 3:04pm

Pregnancy Post #50: Sophia Elizabeth King

Now quit asking. :-D July 25 at 9:20am

Pregnancy Post #51: Flashlight+Fetus=FUN! :-D July 26 at 10:34pm

Pregnancy Post #52: I saw pictures of my pleasantly plump pregnant self this weekend, so when I got home I stepped on the scale. It said “to be continued”. :-D July 31 at 8:47pm

Pregnancy Post #53: She has hair! Lots and lots of hair! :-) I think this latest ultrasound means I need to go shopping for ribbons and bows and cute little headbands! Hurray!!! August 1 at 3:28pm

Pregnancy Post #54: This evening’s snacks: blackberries, cheese balls and pickled okra. :-) August 2 at 9:52pm

Pregnancy Post #55: I am ROCKIN' the cankles tonight. Watch out boys! ;-) August 3 at 11:02 pm.

Pregnancy Post #56: So, from now until delivery I go in twice a week for monitoring. Awesome. I get to sit in a comfy chair for half an hour while the baby kicks and plays (she's an overachiever already) and then get a short little ultrasound. :-D I get to see her AND hear her twice a week until I can hold her in my arms. :-) August 4 at 6:02pm

Pregnancy Post #57: The crib is up and made, pink bags fill the bedroom; blankets are in the wash…31 days. :-) August 8 at 12:13pm.

Pregnancy Post #58: The baby is moving and kicking and frolicking so much that I can hardly sit still! August 10 at 5:17pm

Pregnancy Post #59: There are little pink clothes in the dresser, diapers lined up on the changing table, blankets folded, and tiny little shoes lined up. J My feet are swollen and look like a can of exploded biscuits, my boobs are awesome and Sophie is rockin her bedtime dance by doing what feels like the boot scootin’ boogie on my cervix. The boys are resting, the cats are playing and summer is slipping away. Just thought the world might need an update. August 14 at 10:44 pm

Pregnancy Post #60: Its too bad it isn’t something to do with nudity or flatulence. I’m okay with both of those. Instead…instead…I must collect my urine for an entire day in this gallon container that looks a little like one of those plastic gas cans. Can one buy a purse or satchel or something to discreetly carry that puppy in? And then….the best part…refrigerate it. Hello first day of school?!? Even I can’t make this kind of stuff up! LOL. August 15 at 8:51

Pregnancy Post #61:

♫♪All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go.

I’m standin’ here outside the door

I hate to be awake and so I sigh *sigh*

But the dawn is breakin’ its early morn

My feet are fat, maternity pants are worn

Already I’m so tired I could diiiiiiiiie! ♫♪

♫♪ So kiss me and smile for me,

Tell me how darn cute she’ll be,

Hold me cause my balance will sometimes go…♫♪

Everybody………!

August 19 at 6:54am

Pregnancy Post #62: Today the nurse drawing my blood whistled when he saw my feet and legs. Not in a “I wish you would wrap them around me kind of way” but in a “holy crap I haven’t seen anything that disturbing since I dissected a cat in med school kind of way.” And how was YOUR Friday? :-) August 19 at 9:08pm.

Pregnancy Post #63:

Are you in there little fetus?

In two weeks will you come greet us?

I will buy you some Adidas...♪♪

August 23 at 3:25am

Pregnancy Post #64: Things that have made me cry this week: A Baby Story on TLC, “Thank You” by Ray Boltz, no chocolate pudding after sending someone specifically for chocolate pudding, kitty stepping on my poor swollen feet and a very fuzzy ultrasound showing my sweet little baby frolicking in utero. J August 26 at 7:47am.

Pregnancy Post #65: Twelve. 12. Doce. Douze. Zwölf. Dodici. TWELVE MORE DAYS!!! Oh…and look who learned to use Google translator in the middle of the night. J August 28 at 8:29am.

Pregnancy Post #67: Home! Finally! Everything seemed to take forever today with doctor appointment, ultrasound and monitoring. Good news is that baby is doing very well and all my gauges and fluids are stable *giggle*. She is one big girl though! We are still on for September 9th unless she decides to make her debut early. Is it bad that I’m kinda hopin’ she does? August 29 at 8:55pm

Pregnancy Post #68: We’ve stopped saying “the baby is kicking”. We are now referring to her movements as to what they can be measured at on the Richter scale. August 30 at 8:51pm

Pregnancy Post #69: It seems that I may miss having this little miracle inside me. :-( Is that weird? August 31 at 8:33pm

Pregnancy Post #70: There’s no parade, but my outfit for church this morning has me looking like a float for the labor day parade! LOL. WoOoOoOot! September 4 at 9:11am

Pregnancy Post #71: It’s LABOR Day. My fingers are crossed, my mind is ready, my uterus is full. Ya’ll know how I love a theme. Today would be a great day to have a baby! Now…if I can just convince HER of that! LOL September 5 at 6:45am

Pregnancy Post #72: I have realized this week that my hair is thicker and fuller. Its good to know its not just my feet and midsection that have reacted this way. :-) September 5 at 12:02pm

Pregnancy Post #73: My Least Favorite Things to Do: (1) Bending Over (2) Getting Up September 5 at 12:43pm

Pregnancy Post #74: Watching breastfeeding videos. It’s not as titillating as you might expect. Pun intended. ;-P September 5 at 7:33 pm

Pregnancy Post #75: Almost no sleep at all last night. Woke up sore and thirsty. No, not a night of partying. Well...unless you are an occupant of my uterus, then apparently it was one hard core, rockin' party. *sigh* September 6 at 10:08am.

Pregnancy Post #76: Going to what may be the last pre-delivery doctor’s appointment today. I’m taking my hospital bag and what I can scrape up of my optimism. I’m also taking along bribes to make sure this baby gets out today. I have also considered weapons. Not really. Well, maybe. September 6 at 11:04am

Pregnancy Post #77: The car seat and stroller have been put together. WooOoOT! :-) September 7th at 6:38pm

Pregnancy Post #78: This morning we test to see if Sophie is ready to make her debut tomorrow. I'm looking at it as an audition. Does that make me a stage mom already? September 8 at 7:15am

Pregnancy Post #79: Tests came back good. Baby tomorrow! HURRAY! :-) September 8 at 3:55pm

Pregnancy Post #80: Not sure I will be able to sleep the few hours that are set aside for that tonight. It’s like that excitement that you get before Christmas morning. Well...except I'll get a beautiful present AND narcotics. That might be even better. :-) September 8 at 7:44pm

Pregnancy Post #81: Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! Psalms 127:3-5 September 9 at 3:58am

Pregnancy Post #81: Me to Guy at Labor and Delivery Desk: Good morning! I'd like to have a baby now.

Guy: Wait. Do we do that here? September 9 at 5:59am

Pregnancy Post #83: I have no real idea what number post I'm on. September 9 at 6:09am

Pregnancy Post #84: Emptying uterus, filling quiver at St. John’s Mercy Medical Center September 9 at 6:29am

Final Pregnancy Post: We have been part of a miracle. To say that we are happy and blessed is an understatement. Sophie has arrived. She is a beautiful 8 pounds 14 ounces. Family of four. God is good!!! September 9 at 10:49am