Tracy Said What?: 09/01/2011

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Miracles DO Still Happen: A Lesson in Believing

Birth Story

It was 3:00 am in the morning on September 9^th. We had tried to sleep, but really how can you sleep before welcoming your daughter into the world? We left for St. Louis with bags in the car and camera charged. The roads were practically empty and we even saw a street sweeper in Fredericktown!

Arriving at the hospital we made our way to labor and delivery. “Good morning!” I said to the guy at the desk. “I would like to have a baby now.”

“Wait!” said the guy at the desk. “Do we do that here?”

After being escorted to a room I changed into a lovely hospital gown and waited patiently as a couple of nurses tried to start an IV line. Finally, it was in. The epidural was inserted (Which felt weird. Very weird.) Baby monitors kept close watch on Sophie and Jason was dressed in a silly yellow gown-including cap!

Although we were scheduled for 7:30, an emergency C-section took priority and we were bumped to 8:00. The epidural began to take effect and slowly I lost feeling in every thing below my chest. (Which felt weird. Very weird.)

Like clock work at 8:00 we were taken down to the delivery/operating room. I was so impressed with how everything and every one moved so efficiently-like a machine. Dr. Morris came in and a blue curtain went up in front of my face. Although I couldn’t feel anything I could feel them jostling me around a bit. Finally Jason was able to come in and the fun began.

The anesthesiologist said “You may feel some weird sensations, but you shouldn’t feel any pain.” I didn’t really feel any weird sensations just moving a bit. I was having a brief conversation with the anesthesiologist when Jason said “Hey…there’s something happening down there.”

I could here some liquid being suctioned up and then “Those are her feet. She’s breech!” Jason repeated that to me and then said “She’s out!”

Nurses said “Happy birthday!”

Dr. Morris asked for the time. She was born at exactly 8:30am.

Immediately she was take to the little baby bed thing a few feet away from my head. She was red and gray and cheesy looking. She wasn’t crying.

The nurses began rubbing her and jostling her and saying “Come on sweetie.” Still she didn’t cry.

I realized that I was holding my breath. Jason stepped over to grab a couple of pictures and came back to me. She still wasn’t crying. In my head I could only think “Oh my god. Why isn’t she crying?” I could see her moving her arms and her feet and saw the nurses clear her mouth and nose and talk to her as they kept rubbing.

Finally she took a big breath and let out a wail. Tears rolled down my face and a nurse dabbed them for me as I watched them give her a bit of oxygen and smile as she flopped around.

“I don’t like the way she sounds.” Said the NICU nurse. “I think she’ll need to go with me.” I wasn’t panicked then. We knew her lungs were kind of border line. Jason cut the cord and snapped a picture as they weighed her. He stroked my hair and smiled down at me.

Holy crap. We had made a baby.

In just minutes, the baby had a hat on and was swaddled warmly. They brought her to me and I kissed her forehead. She was so soft and warm. Jason went with her and I stayed. Not like I had a choice! They were still stitching me up.

In recovery Jason brought pictures of our little princess to me. Joey, the grandmas and Tim popped in to visit in between visiting Sophia. What seemed like an eternity passed and finally they pushed me and my bed into see her. She was beautiful!

Attached already to tubes and monitors she was doing okay and was getting lots of attention. Joey was smitten and played the role of proud big brother fabulously.

I was eventually moved to a room and sent Jason back to NICU repeatedly to check on her. Although I could be wheeled down I couldn’t hold her. My heart was both thankful she was doing well and heavy at the same time. I NEEDED to hold her. After the nurse’s shift change we went back again and I did get to hold her. J

So tiny. So beautiful. We were part of a miracle. This amazing bundle of life I was holding in my arms was covered with the fingerprints of God. Humbled by His mercy and extraordinary grace a few more tears fell as we looked at our daughter.

Happy birthday Sophia Elizabeth! You are loved.

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Lessons in Thankful

For most of my grown-up life I waited to become a mom. On July 29, 1999 my dream came true. Although I still wanted more children, it seemed that God had other plans. After years of struggling with my feelings of deficiency and infertility I began praying for a peace and an understanding. I began praying to be satisfied and enjoy the incredible life God had given me. Not long after that a miracle happened-I was pregnant!

Tomorrow morning we will welcome our daughter into the world. We've had a crazy healthy pregnancy, our lives have been transformed in many ways in the last 7 months and God has shown us more mercy and grace than we can ever EVER understand. Sweeping away the trash in our lives has opened us up to a multitude of blessings. Humbled. We are humbled by the events of the last year and eager to embrace what our future holds.

Our lives are so much better now than they were this time last year. In nearly every way, in nearly every aspect of our lives we can see God's hand, His protection, His plan.

And we are thankful.